


Breadsticks and Prank Calls

by FlowerChild22



Series: Extended Cut [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jake ditches his own date to crash Amy's, Jake's POV, Please Peralta how long have you been hot for Amy, S1E4, so obvious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 23:17:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10524000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlowerChild22/pseuds/FlowerChild22
Summary: It annoys him that he can’t figure out why Lydia isn’t holding his interest. He knows he’s only really in it to show off his best cop stories and the sex and she’s definitely only here for dinner and sex, so he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to keep his eyes on Lydia’s perfectly smoky eyes and red lip.He’s almost tempted to text Gina to call him with a ‘work emergency’ or a ‘family emergency’ or any kind of stupidly transparent emergency that will get him out of this bore-fest.Until he sees Amy being lead into the restaurant by a brown haired (slightly lighter than his), tall (much taller than him) and decent looking guy with his hand placed on the small of Amy’s back.--Season 1, Episode 4 where Jake crashes Amy's date to the detriment of his own.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly just a rewrite of this scene since I've started watching the series from the beginning. All to fall in love with Jake and Amy all over again.

“So you’re a cop?” Lydia asks in a sultry tone and leans towards Jake, unintentionally—or intentionally—letting him catch a glimpse of her cleavage that was almost spilling over her red dress. She circles the rim of her glass with a red polished finger and watches Jake through low-lidded eyes and bites her lip before asking him, “Any crazy cop stories?”

Jake can’t help but notice that she’s pulling every date cliché in the book and while previously that would not have affected him, he’s annoyed with each one that leaves her mouth. She’s stereotypically exactly what Jake usually dates: hot, average intelligence and not looking for anything serious in the slightest.

He’s sitting at _da Giacomo Ristorante_ where they serve decent pizza and have a great risotto, but—

He finds himself looking around for things to distract him.

He doesn’t put as much enthusiasm in his cop stories as he usually does.

He’s constantly checking his phone.

It annoys him that he can’t figure out why Lydia isn’t holding his interest. He _knows_ he’s only really in it to show off his best cop stories and the sex and she’s definitely only here for dinner and sex, so he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to keep his eyes on Lydia’s perfectly smoky eyes and red lip.

He’s almost tempted to text Gina to call him with a ‘work emergency’ or a ‘family emergency’ or any kind of stupidly transparent emergency that will get him out of this bore-fest.

Until he sees Amy being lead into the restaurant by a brown haired (slightly lighter than his), tall (much taller than him), decent looking guy with his hand placed on the small of Amy’s back.

Of course being Amy’s date means he’s a gentleman, because he’s pulling out Amy’s chair and allows her to sit and then he sits himself down opposite her.

She seems to be enjoying herself and he seems to be into Amy and Jake feels the itch to mess Amy’s night in the same way he would tease her about her binders or make sex tape jokes. He doesn’t attempt to think about why he wants to mess with Amy while she’s on a date; there’s a part of him deep down that knows it’s one thing to jokingly place the blame on Amy while at work, but it’s a completely different and entirely inappropriate thing to mess with Amy’s personal life, especially her _romantic life_.

But he’s Jake, who can’t hold a mature relationship for more than three months and there isn’t anything he likes more than seeing the look of irritation on Amy Santiago’s face, especially when it’s caused by him.

(He ignores what that possibly means.)

He immediately calls her once there’s a break in conversation with Lydia, who’s reading through the menu and making a comment about how every dish has ‘too many’ carbs—he’s unsure why she asked him to take her to Giacomo—and watches as Amy picks up her phone to answer him.

She has her back to him so he can’t tell what kind of expression is on her face, but he knows that Amy won’t ignore the phone call and will assume he’s calling about one of their open cases.

“What’s up Peralta?” She asks in her professional, no-nonsense tone.

“The Captain called, he needs everybody back,” he tells her in slightly jaded tone, to let her believe that he’s been inconvenienced too. “There’s a lead on the Nightingale Strangler.”

He watches Amy’s date continue to eat his entrée—a _salad_ , he scoffs to himself—while he talks to Amy. “We’re looking for a white male, five-ten, medium build, brown hair.”

He pauses to zero in on her date further and almost cannot keep the seriousness in his voice when he continues to describe Amy’s date. “Small scar on his right cheek.”

“Okay,” Amy replies with apprehension in her voice, He knows she’s now starting to freak out. He then focuses on her black shiny hair; it’s down and curled, much different to her usual low buns and sleek ponytails.

She’s wearing a teal dress; he wants her to turn around so he can see her, but he knows it’s probably in the same cut she usually wears, which is modest in length, but there’s usually a tease of cleavage and a tight fit. The colour looks good against her tan skin.

“His MO is that he finds lonely women with no friends, poisons their food and then guts them in his van. It’s pretty gnarly.” Her shoulders are tense and he focuses back on her date. “Last seen wearing a salmon shirt with a grey blazer.”

She turns now to see if the description matches what her date is wearing and he knows now that Amy is catching on, so he delivers his last sentence which he knows will give him up.

“The witnesses have said that he has trouble fitting lettuce in his mouth.”

She’s fully turned towards her date now and she can see that he’s got his hand over his mouth while he politely tries to chew through his salad.

“Okay,” she huffs out, annoyed and not at all surprised by Jake’s antics. “Where are you?”

Jake climbs out of the booth and continues to talk as he approaches Amy’s table. “Apparently has the world’s smallest penis and doesn’t know how to use it.”

Amy’s still looking around for him as he approaches from behind her, so he stops at their table casually, as if he’s just noticed them. “Hi there, I’m Jake Peralta, Amy’s boss.”

(He doesn’t remember that he’s just left his own date to crash Amy’s.)

He holds his hand out to Amy’s date and Amy cuts in.

“Uh, that’s not true.” She spins around to give Jake a classic Amy-Santiago-is-not-impressed-with Jake-Peralta look. “What are you doing here?”

“I am here on a date,” Jake informs her, in a matter-of-fact tone and hands on his hips. He spins around to show Amy his hot date Lydia, but she’s already left their booth before the breadsticks even show up and heading toward the door. “Who is now leaving.”

“Worth it!” He tells both Amy and her date and goes to rush after his own date. “Have a great night!”

He hears Amy’s ever-so-polite date tell Amy, “Your boss seems really nice.”

Amy immediately shuts that down with, “He’s not my boss.”

“Yes I am!” Jake calls out before he’s out the door and chasing after Lydia. He wonders briefly to himself if their date will continue, but Amy’s date seems too nice a type to ditch.

He just catches Lydia waving down a taxi. “Lydia!”

She turns back to him, slightly disgusted and pauses after opening the taxi door. “Go home, Jake.”

“Wait!” Jake reaches her and holds his hands up. “We can go somewhere else instead. Just a harmless prank on my partner, that’s all.”

Lydia eyes him like he’s crazy and Jake feels slightly uncomfortable under her gaze, but she doesn’t say anything on that and just tells him, “Don’t bother. You just completely ditched our date to crash your partner’s date.”

Jake thinks she might be insinuating something, but she hops into the taxi and slams the door before Jake can ask her what she’s trying to tell him.

The taxi speeds off, leaving Jake to watch after it. He turns to a waiter standing outside and sucking down a cigarette. “What’s her problem?”

The waiter just smirks at him and shakes his head.


End file.
